I have been in faith for about 15 long years and only recently have I realized that I do not exercise my faith enough. I limit God in my life. But recently God revealed me that anything is possible though faith in God.  My younger brother is a 2009 passed out BE candidate. You all know…how the recession had affected placements in engineering colleges and the worst affected were the 2009 passouts. Lot of hope was on my brother who could not manage a placement among the few companies that came for campus in early 2008. My mother who was struggling to support my family financially after my father’s demise was very depressed. I took the responsibility of appealing to God his case, but somewhere in my heart I knew that God had a beautiful plan for him.

By God’s grace, recently IT companies started recruiting 2009 passout freshers. My brother had applied for the off campus along with his friends, but to our dismay he was not called for the tests for reasons unknown while all his other friends were called. This was the company my brother wanted to get in to and hence he was very much disappointed.  After a few weeks in April, through my husband’s contact we came to know that the same company was conducting walk-ins for 2009 freshers for testing career. My brother has very good analytical skill than technical skills. He was always scary in getting in to programming jobs fearing that he would not be able to perform. So this seemed to be God’s answer to our prayers, if he had gone through off campus, he would have to go in to programming profile. None of his friends who attended the test were able to clear the tests. Those friends were better performer than my brother in college. I insisted my brother to put all his faith in God and perform well. He is quite a shy guy and not a very good communicator and that bothered us more. Whatever may it be, I put all trust in God and sat in prayer and fasting on the day of his test. I was only telling that “God, nothing is difficult for thee, your glory is revealed only in our weakness”.

I kept sending him SMS to call upon God in times of fear. I asked him to keep saying “For this, I have Jesus”. He too felt God’s presence and guidance and to his surprise, he was the only person to have cleared all the 3 written test rounds. He next went through the technical and HR interviews by GOD’s grace. Yes pure grace. That day I experience God’s grace to the fullest. Moreover through this experience, God has revealed me the power of fasting and praying. From that day onwards I have been Praising and Thanking God for the way he has lead my brother’s life. My brother’s faith on God has deepened and I am sure he is going to hold on to God always.

My name is Jaison and I am a marine Engineer in a Multi-national company in Singapore. Though I was born and raised up in a Christian family, I did not have a personal relationship or experience with God. I used to go to Christian meetings and church services but mostly as a critic and nitpicker. I had this tendency to find faults and attract the attention of others to the errors and flaws I find in others. I used to think and say that Christian preachers and leaders are out there to carry out their own agenda by playing religious tricks with the people and so I had no real value for any such meetings or preachers. Though I had some fear of God deep within my heart, I lived my life in my own ways and gave myself to some bad habits as well.

While I was living my life in the way I wanted, during last December I was invited by one of my relatives to join the program called “Light of the City”. It was a Christmas celebration program organized by PROFIT on Dec 2009. If it were a prayer meeting or a church gathering, I would not have attended it. Since it was just a Christmas celebration event and dinner, I agreed to go and attend it for the sake of his invitation. I went there, though reluctantly, but as usual with the intention of finding faults and with a critical attitude. While different programs were going on, I was teasing and making comments about what was going on in the stage to the people sitting around me and distracting them.

When the time came for sharing the word of God, Bro. Joseph took the stage to share the message of Christmas. I was once again eager to point out the flaws and faults to prove him wrong. But, I could sense something in the atmosphere at that moment and I could not make fun of the preaching anymore. I was wondering what was happening to me. And I started to look around to see how others respond, because I knew many of them were not Christians and came there for a Christmas function. But they were all so captivated by the presence of God and listening so intently to the message as it was preached. It was a very simple message about the Christmas light and how it can affect the different areas of our lives when we allow the light of Christ to shine into our lives

What touched me most was one of the points in the message “Light gives vision”. As I heard it, I was stirred and questions arose within me, such as “Where am I heading?”and “What is my focus and vision in life?”. I was not able to answer those questions by myself but I knew that God had touched me deeply. But my fleshly nature still remained and so I returned home a little disappointed for not being able to find faults and criticize. Since some members of PROFIT invited me back to the fellowship, I attended PROFIT Engineering fellowship in the following month and I once again went there to find faults as well. It was like a small workshop on “Focus and Goal setting”. Again I could not criticize on what was being shared but rather the same questions arose within me “What is my focus and vision?” “What am I living for?” Eventually through the fellowship of PROFIT members and the love of God I have witnessed in the lives of some of them, I committed my life to Jesus

I became regular to the chapter meetings and God has graciously given some senior members in the fellowship to mentor me and guide me. Initially I had some ups and downs in my Christian life. One day while I was in office, I felt that the Christian walk in this wicked world was so difficult and I could not move on anymore. And I was weary of such a difficult Christian life. Suddenly I could sense the work of God within me and right there, in front of my desk,  I totally surrendered myself (if not abandoned myself), especially my life in the corporate world as a marine engineer, to Jesus with a prayer “Lord I cannot move on anymore in my life without your strength. Please strengthen me” God gave me new strength to move on. Though I had heard about repentance many times, I did not really know what true repentance meant. That was the moment I totally surrendered myself to God and experienced true repentance. From that moment onwards, I know I have been living only by the strength of God and experiencing the love of God and the real joy of the Christian life.

My colleagues and friends started to notice the change in me and I used it as an opportunity to witness about the love of God to them. I no longer take pleasure in finding the faults of others or criticizing others but rather I delight in sharing the love of God with others. The love of God is everything to me and I am not able to contain the love of God that is overflowing from within me. In PROFIT chapters I learn how I can practically live the Christian life and be an effective witness for Jesus in my workplace. It is my burning passion now to share the gospel with everyone in the sphere of my influence and I have been doing it as much as the Lord gives me grace. I really want to testify to everyone I meet in life that the love and joy that I experience now in God is much greater and far beyond comprehension when compared with the little happiness I had in the worldly pursuit of pleasure or career growth. To God be all the glory, Amen!

PROFIT – PROfessionals Fellowship of International Talents is the Corporate fellowship in Singapore and in other countries. If you are in Singapore and want to be part of this fellowship, pl reach out to – profit.sg@gmail.com

“Is anything too hard for the Lord” – Genesis 18.14

Wondering how? Read further and you will realize how God picked me up from miry clay and put me on the rock to stay.

The God of Jacob did it for me. He is waiting to do it for you.

Looking back

I grew on the Pentecostal doctrine, though being a Syrian Marthomite. The excess spirituality repeled me. Towards the end of schooling I became an atheist. My character transformed me in tto a rebel. Anything below average appeared contemptuous. My stable statement to all believers was, “Those who are weak need God”. Many believers warned me not to let God’s wrath come upon me. But I was young and foolish and would mock anything on spirituality. I emerged as a star in academics and became a focal point for all. Pride took over.

The blow

My career took off to a colorful start in India. I soon explored opportunities overseas. On the day of my first travel abroad, I proudly declared, “I will never return to India”. Subsequently I traveled to various countries, but returned unsuccessful. The situation crushed me and all my egos fell flat. My family upholded me in prayer knowing God will intervene at HIS time.

I humbled myself but did not surrender. I married a dentist filled with the Holy Spirit. I followed the Christian rituals, received water baptism, but nothing changed me. My wife delivered a baby boy and the house was fun. I made my final attempt as a businessman to Dubai, leaving my wife and son behind. I returned as the business failed. The reception I received was worse. To turn my grief into joy I visited my in-laws where my wife and son lived. My wife and son (Kiran) received me with love.

With excitement I flooded my son with questions for which he replied only with a smile. But why was he not answering? I looked into his eyes and shiver down the spine when I notice the expression, I can’t speak. He was 3 years then. I tried making him call “dad” but in vain. My wife consoled me, “Don’t worry, he is yet to call me “Ma”. The beginning of all creations was missing in my son. I was completely blown away. I was in panic and ran from pillar to post, various doctors, speech therapist, specialists examine and gave different versions.

We even suspect he is retarded. I admitted him in the first school where he only slept. The second school admitted him but as a Special Child.  I burned inside ‘why special child’? After six months the school fired him for zero-performance. He began to ventilate his frustrations by crying aloud at times which irritated family members. To control the noise he was given a blow, which only intensified. I defended but in vain. No one seems to understand what he was going through. The more others pited him the more it devastated me. Suggestions and reasons pouredin from all quarters without query.

The Power

Surrounded by problems, I stumbled on a beginner’s bible. I started reading few verses daily. Pastors from different congregation laid hands on my son and prayed. I witnessed no change. One of the pastors after praying remarked  ‘Brother, how much ever others pray, as head of the family you must pray”. As a person who demanded logic, I realized to satisfy my hunger, I must eat. Others can only help. I fell on my knees, cried and prayed to release my son. Slowly I began to see the light of God and His grace. The problems began to vanish and God filled me with the Holy Spirit.

Now I realize that God was watching me patiently as he was watching Jacob .

The Almighty

At the age of 5 he testified in front of thousands in NLAG church about the miracle healing of God. Now, by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, my son is entering 3rd standard as a Normal Child with consistent score of 87%. He stammers occasionally, like Moses, but my wife and myself believe God exalts him in all spheres at  the appointed time.

 All glory and honor to our living god. Amen

 “For Nothing will be impossible with God” – Luke 1.37

I will tell of the kindnesses of the LORD, the deeds for which he is to be praised, according to all the LORD has done for us.  Isaiah 63:7

Recently I’ve been to a hospital in USA (I think that is the first place I’ve visited in Nashville) and those were the horrible 9 hours. I waited for more than an hour to have the receptionist calling my name and the doctors and technicians without treating my pain started taking all the tests they could. Without my parents standing next to me, in a foreign country, a great fear captured my heart and I could remember my eyes crying silently for all those hours seeing the doctors coming in and giving me all the terrific reasons for why I was there even before the results came.

I was continuously asking the Lord for why I was there like an orphan. Some serious plans of going back to India, or to continue here in US, fear, pain and every kind of emotion literally made me the worst patient ever. After returning also I spent 2 days crying & thinking about what happened. I asked the Lord n number of times why He has allowed me to pass through that situation.

Last night, I attended ‘The Well of Nashville’ organized by Carl and Leann Albrecht. There I heard Leann talking about the grapes in the vineyard of Italy. These grapes will not be tasty when there is an abundant rain, but they get sweeter only when there is no rain at all. Their roots go deeper and deeper into the soil trying to find some water. By that time they started absorbing all kinds of minerals and that’s the reason they get much sweeter! My critical situation made me realize that work is not everything. Health is much more important. It taught me to lean on Him. Only by Him I was able to recover from the pain. When all the doctors scared me, the perfect Healer alone comforted me.

When I was sick I asked the same questions again and again to the Lord, but then I realized how many times I didn’t surrender my health in His hands, but still He took care of me. I thought of the times when I really didn’t pray for my family and their safe coming and going, but still He kept them healthy. I remembered the times even before I started praying my sister saying to me that she secured very good marks, my brothers reaching home safe after the rash drives, my friends getting better jobs, my simple desires getting fulfilled, my needs met by Him before even I knew I needed them, etc… etc…

Yes, many times we forget to thank God for all the goodness and the mercies that He is showing us unconditionally. But then we think about our own problems all over again and again without getting bored. It’s very tough to stay calm, but I believe God is not a horrible one to test you in your difficult times, but He allows something which will definitely work out for good. In my case, I learnt that the temple in which He lives (our body) has to be taken care.

As a personal note, I would request you all to drink plenty of water and keep you from dehydrating. May God be with you all and keep you & yours sound and healthy.

“You did not choose Me,  but I chose you”  – Jesus

Transformation of a Gynecologist from Chennai

I praise god for giving me the grace to share my testimony with you all.  REV.12: 11 says, they overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony;

The basis of my life is PSALM 40: 1-3

I waited patiently for the lord;

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

Out of the mud and mire;

He set my feet on rock

And gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our god.

Many will see and fear

And put their trust in the lord.

I come from a Hindu background. My grand mother was deeply religious and would do any thing to appease the god. When my father saw the utter madness of her religious fever he realized the foolishness of the religious practices. He realized that people trap innocent people for their own selfish motives used religion. Hence we grew up with no idol worship in our house. We grew up to believe that being a good human being was supreme and helping humanity was the ultimate goal of life. I studied in a Christian school and was exposed to Christian values but it made no dent on my life. I was secure in my world with no thought of god or the devil. I studied hard and by the grace of god entered medical college.

Since I came from a relatively orthodox family background, I was not exposed to boys and girls mixing freely. It was a new experience for me and I was very excited and thrilled to be part of this new culture. My value slowly started changing. I wanted to be part of this new culture. My mother’s cousin who was in the army used to visit us, and I was attracted towards him. So one day I decided to go for a movie with him. Hence I asked permission to my mother to go for a movie with him. My mother was so shocked, that I could even entertain such a thought in my head. She in her simple way told me that only after marriage one went out with their husband and I obviously could not go out with him. So in my childish way at 17 years I decided to get married to this man who I knew nothing about, only because I wanted to go for a movie. (Like EASUA selling his birth right to JACOB). Every one in my family tried dissuading me from this destructive path. But I would not listen to anyone. So at 17 years when I was in 2^nd year MBBS I was married. I lived in Chennai and my husband was in the army posted in north India. He used to come home for his annual holidays and during that time I was busy with my studies so I hardly knew my husband. I used to go to his place in my study holidays and the life I saw was totally different from what I was used to. I was like a fish out of water. .I did not know the “A” and “B”of socializing and a source of embarrassment to my husband. This led to a lot of fight between us. I came back to Chennai determined to learn to drink and dance and smoke and party around. I knew no one who did all these things.

Then I hit on a novel idea. I realized only CHRISTIANS partied and danced, smoked.so I became friendly with a bunch of Christians and learned the ways of the world. But still there was no peace between my husband and me. Hence people suggested that I have a child to cement our relation ship and by gods grace I conceived and gave birth to a son. But matters went from bad to worse and to the dogs. Since I had no money and was always depended on my husband I decided to join the army. So I got commissioned in the Indian army. Now the problems instead of settling down escalated and it reached a point of no return. I realized that I was dying for my husband love like (LEAH ,JACOBS WIFE)and he could not stand the sight of me. I got a posting to Chennai to my mother home. My parents were distraught and at their wits end as what to do? So my mother did what best she could do, she took me to the rounds of temple and appeasing as many gods as possible. But I got feed up of the system, which was so corrupt. Only when we paid money the priest would do the puja. So I used to wonder if god was for only the rich and not for the poor. Also a nagging thought was bothering me, WHO IS GOD, WHERE IS HE, HOW DO I REACH HIM,

      Meanwhile when I was in Punjab I had a servant who was from RAJASTHAN a city in north India. There is a Hindu temple in this place where millions of rats are fed with rice. These rats in turn eat this rice and shit in the place. This rat shit is considered as very sacred and carried by the devotees back home to bless them. Hence this man brought this rat shit to me and told me to pray to it. So in spite of me being a major in the army, holding a important portfolio, I was so desperate to believe that the rat shit held the answer to my problem. (2 COR 4:4the god of this age has blinded the eyes of unbelievers, so that they can not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of god)

Life was one long night mare and I could find no answer to it. So I took a posting to my home town and started living with my parents. My parents did what best they knew. They took me from one temple to another trying to appease their gods. I saw the hollowness of the system, the power and money hungry priest who wanted to capitalize on the situation. I was thoroughly fed up of the whole god business I was wondering if one did not have money then the gods had no time for them. The burning question in my heart was if this Hindu god was god then they were behaving worse then human beings. SO WHO IS GOD?

Mean while I was taken to another temple whose god was supposed to be the all power full god when I reached the place I was told that if I paid money I could go in a special queue by passing the general queue. I was really surprised that gods could be bought at a price. It also troubled me that if one had money the gods gave time and special privilege but if one did not have time then the gods had no concern for the poor. I decided to stand in the regular queue and meet the god. The queue was very long hence we were pushed into waiting rooms which were like a cage. I was very troubled that here I was so desperate to meet this god but the god could not be meeting like human beings. I was wondering if I need a friend I needed that person now. But if god did not have time for me at this crucial time what was the point? I nearly waited in this cage for nearly 5 hours. By then I was so feed up of the whole situation that I wanted to be let out. Only then I realized once you are in the queue you can only move forward but not back ward. Hence after a long wait of nearly 10 hours the line moved for ward and at last I came face to face with the deity. I thought that at last I can now stand and cry my heart to this god and tell all my vows. But to my utter surprise and shock I was pushed forward before I could even have a proper glimpse of the deity. After waiting so long it was an anti climax not even to have a split second with the god. This irritated me and got me wondering if it was worth the trouble, worth seeking a god who had no time for us. I was desperate for a GOD .WHO WOULD CARE FOR ME IN A PERSONAL WAY. Hence I decided never to go back to these idols. But who was God?  This was a burning question in my heart for which there was no answer.

Meanwhile, my personal life was in total shambles. I lost all moral directions of what was right and wrong.  Since I was working in the army, had a good job, a fat salary and free flow of liquor and single with a small child, I was desperate for company. Loneliness was eating into me and I was willing to do anything to drive this loneliness far away.   So my personal life went from bad to worse. I realized I had no way to get out of the mess that my life was and one fine day I decided that death was the only answer.  I realized that my life was too far gone and there is no way anybody on this earth could help me to set it right.

Now, my latest passion which was all consuming was to kill my son and kill myself.  I tried committing suicide three times but the bible says, You did not choose me but I chose you  and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name (John 15:15).  God has good plans for us. I never knew all this.  I never succeeded in my attempt.  I was deeply depressed and distressed not knowing what to do next.  I felt that the whole world was against me and I in turn was against the whole world. I became a nasty. Fighting, bitter, unforgiving human being whom everybody hated and I hated in return. It was a total hopeless situation and I did not know the way out.

My Christian friends once took me to a village Church much against my wishes.  One of them was preaching (since there lives was all messed up like mine, I had no intention of ever listening to anything coming out of their mouths).  I refused to enter the church and I was standing outside full of myself and thinking in my heart, “these Christians get dollars from abroad and all they wanted to do is convert Hindus to Christians and I will never become a Christian.  The congregation was singing songs of joy and as they sang, I was getting totally irritated and frustrated, thinking in my heart only I am rich and famous, born in a High caste Hindu family with all the necessary social connections and Only I have the right to be happy but the reality is these people in the Church seem to be happy. I was getting very angry with the whole situation.  Then, the preacher preached the good news and said that Jesus came and died for our sins. I was wondering in my heart why would any god die for me.  This was bothering me and I was desperate to trade my sorrow for joy. As a Hindu I only knew to appease Gods by bartering system.  I thought in exchange for the peace that Jesus promises, I would give Him not my gold and silver which I valued very highly.  I was wondering how I could fool this God and rob the peace from Him.  I thought I stuck on a brilliant brain wave.  I thought, anyway I’m a Doctor and it cost my nothing to go and do free medical services in the village in my free time. If I could get this kind of peace so I made a covenant with God.

I came back home, back to the same situation. Life was miserable and one fine day I wanted my Christian friends to get somebody to pray for me and then I wanted to kill myself.  So this Pentecostal school teacher came to my house and I asked her what I should do to get prayed.  She just asked me to sit quietly and she started praying in tongues.  Till then I never heard anybody pray in tongues.  The minute she started the prayer there was a loud voice in my head screaming “Ask this lady to get up and get out you are a qualified Doctor and she is mad!  If a person like this comes to your clinical OPD and talk’s gibberish language, will you entertain her?  She is mad refer her to the psychiatrist.  This voice was so loud and drowning me.  But a still small voice asked me “what did you do to the life I gave you?” I was so broken in my spirit and at that time God showed me like a movie my life and how it had degenerated. I couldn’t believe what I saw. I cried out with agony of my soul saying Jesus come in my life.  Be my God, my Savior and set me free!  Nobody told me that Jesus was God. Nobody told me to invite Jesus into my life.  Salvation was an instantaneous experience by the working of the Holy Spirit as the lady was praying in tongues. Praise God! Hallelujah!

Now, I was a born again Christian and this lady asked me to attend a Church.  The same bunch of Christians took me to Church and my heart was rejoicing in the presence of the Lord.  Slowly but surely God started convicting me of my wicked life style.  I had to put an end to all my partying and break away from all my old friends.  It was a new beginning, new experience. Now I was even lonelier with no friends.  But in my loneliness, God’s presence started ministering to me in a powerful way.  The Holy Spirit took me directly under His tutorship and God started molding my personality from inside out.

My first ministry was as a cook for a Pastors Conference.  It was hard and difficult for a person who has always held top positions to humble myself to act and work as a cook but God was using these experiences to teach me humility. Next ministry was village medical outreach program.  God gave me a beautiful design to do this over the year.  Since we are not allowed to distribute tracts in the villages, God gave us the wisdom to use tracts as tokens to form a queue.  As a surgeon I was able to earn, operate and make adequate money.  With this money, like Paul, I was able to support the medical ministry for the last 17 years.  We were able to conduct 700 Medical Outreach Programs in the last 17 years.

Today God has given me a vision to start GILGAL CHARITABLE TRUST in accordance with Joshua 5:8.  We have registered the Trust.  I will be moving to my God given destiny to a place called Rameswaram in Ramnad District.  It is a small island with 60,000 population.  God has given me the burden to build a hospital, Nursing School, Orphanage, Old Age Home, School and Bible School.  This is a life time project.  Trusting God, I will be resigning my job and going away as a medical missionary believing that He who called me is faithful. Please uphold me in your prayers.

Praise God!