Tears fell down his cheeks and on to his pillow. As he tried to get some sleep, he could not get his thoughts away from it. His thoughts went back to how it had started & how innocuous it had seemed at the outset. He realized his whole life was slowly ebbing away L . More than 10 years had passed by since the first mistake and he seemed to be sucked into this vicious circle with no end in sight. Oh how he desperately wanted to get rid of the habit!

The next day as he got up, he swore to himself, that he would not touch it today. As he started getting ready to work, he realized that today was the R & R (rewards and recognition) awards ceremony. He had been nominated for and awarded the MVP (Most valuable Award). He was excited at being recognized for his contribution and was looking forward to the praise and glory that would come his way as he would walk the aisle to get the award. He smiled to himself as he combed his hair. He selected his favorite blue shirt and black pant and made sure he was neatly dressed. He left home with the lunch box his mum gave him and walked towards his bus stop. He boarded the bus (5 minutes early) and slowly the desire to have a puff started building up. “Noooo” he told himself, I won’t do it, I will not give in again – he said. He bit his lip and tried to think about his work and his award, but no, the thought would not leave him. The battle in his soul was unbearable.

Raju had everything going for him. A loving son to his parents, an epitome of dedication at work and he had a kind heart to help anything / anyone who needed help. But deep down, he really felt he was a hypocrite. “Is all this just a farce? A mask for the people? Do I make all the right moves and noises in public to appear good?” – He would ask himself. He thought about how he had felt jealous when his friend got a promotion, his bitter anger at the escalation done by his onsite counter-part. And to top it all, his secret habit of smoking. What good does it do to appear right in front of everyone, but not be at peace with yourself? He knew his parents would be shocked to find out, but how long could he hide it? Is it possible to get rid of the habit?

If it was something external, he could change it, but how could he change something that had become a part of him? He smiled ironically as he thought of the award he was receiving that day, as it was for bringing in marked improvement in his team’s performance. If only life could be as simple as our project… To change his very inner nature would require something far greater than will-power to change…but was there a solution?

As he was thinking, Samuel came and sat next to him in the bus. Raju had always trusted Samuel and knew that he had something special about him (what it was he was not sure). He had wanted to share with him his problems earlier, but his pride stopped him on most occasions. Today, with a heavy heart, he felt he needed to let go and he thought of talking to Samuel. His blood pressure increased and sweat formed on his brow. How could he tell him? But he badly wanted to have this burden take off his chest.

Mustering all his courage, he told Samuel about his problem. He fought back tears as he told him about his struggles. Samuel listened quietly and understandingly to everything Raju had to say. Finally Samuel told Raju about his best friend. Samuel told him that he was a wonder-working person who could cure any of the heart’s diseases. He told him that all he would need to do is to meet his best friend and tell him his problems and just trust him to heal his heart. Samuel told him that he could talk to his best friend from anywhere at any time. Raju found it hard to believe and wondered how it would work? But he had tried everything possible to get rid of it – but nothing had worked, he thought he had nothing to lose.

When Raju spoke to Samuel’s best friend for the first time, he had thousand questions running through his mind, could this really be true? What would he say? He said “Dear God, I am sorry for failing you & messing up my life, I need your help to get me right and corrected. I need a change”. As he said this, he did not hear any reply back, but he felt a strange peace fill his heart as he talked to him. He felt light, like the time when he was a small kid with no worries. He knew something had changed on the inside & it was hard to explain.

A week went by and he did not have the urge to go for a smoke. Could this be really true he asked himself? A month went by & Raju frequently talked to  God, who was no longer just Samuel’s best friend, but his best friend as well. He thanked God for helping him get out of a place where he never thought he could get out. Who would think that God could be friends with a person who is a failure? When Raju smiled at someone, it was now really a smile with love and care. When he spoke his words were true and from his heart! Oh the delight of having a clear conscience!

This was definitely the tide of change that Raju had hoped for!

It’s that time of the year when we begin to start getting our investments right to save some tax so that our income will reach us!!. Yes, I’m talking about the investments for saving income tax. I was just updating the details on my company website, when I found out that couple of receipts of insurance was missing!!!

How could that be??…I had reminders in place and also bill pay set up through my banking website, but still, I was not able to locate the receipts. Having confirmed that I had not paid the amount due for the year, I rushed to the branch with my worst fears of penalties to be paid with interest and ensuring that the policy was in force, so that I can derive the benefits due.

I reached out to the clerk at the front desk and when I told her my policy no, she replied to my utter disbelief – ‘Your policy is paid in FULL’ – no further payments required and it will mature in 2016. What!!!!, I just couldn’t believe my ears and insisted on checking it again and to prove it, she pulled out a print out of the policy details, which said ‘PAID IN FULL’.

What a similarity to what the Lord Jesus had done for us on the cross many years back – He paid up for our sins in FULL, so that we need not run from pillar to post, to cross check, but just to believe and be saved!!!. But in spite of the payment being made in FULL, we still keep searching and not understanding on what He has done for us.

The message is clear that our Lord Jesus had paid in FULL at the cross when He said (John 19:30) ‘It is finished’. So, let’s not be worried and not certain of what the Lord Jesus has given us and let us rest in the assurance of the cross on which he paid in FULL!!! Amen

Taste and see that the Lord is Good    Ps34:8

Most familiar verse from the Bible even a child will recite it effortlessly. Does that make this verse as simple as it looks? The interesting question here, is King David telling us that the Lord is good as he was escaping from king Achish of whom he was afraid? Taste does not mean test.  Test and experience are two different actions based on our strength of Faith. I would like to share with you the positive side of Faith, which is experiencing it. Consider Ps 62:5 “For my expectation is from Him.”(KJV) What is your expectation for June? It could be anything according to your needs. But where are you looking at, to get it for you. You can look forward to people or whatever your rational mind suggests. But have you applied your faith and expected it to come from the Lord? That is how David could declare God is good even when he was fleeing for his life. Through the life threatening situation he experienced the goodness of God. Many times we give higher status to earthly resources through critical times, than we do to God. If you trust on the unchangeable God and receive your need, then you have experienced that the Lord is good. The situation may be totally negative but still you can experience the Goodness of God if you obey and practice His word.

Psalms 115:12 “The Lord has been mindful of us; he will bless us.” Every one of us in our life time has gone through or could be going through loneliness. I do not mean physical loneliness but mental or emotional loneliness. You may have everything like father mother or you may be living with your wife/husband or living with children. But in spite of all this relationship you may feel lonely and may not be able to share your inner feelings. This loneliness is not unique to us but prophet like Elijah was not spared. The word of the Lord came to him “what are you doing here Elijah?” Then he expresses his loneliness that the Israelites have rejected your covenant and put your prophets to death and I am the only one left and now they are after me (1 Kings 19:10). From his answer it is clear he was going through loneliness and the fear of death. Are you feeling left alone in the midst of your family, friends or at work place. If you can claim the promise and believe (cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you 1 Peter5:7)) with all your heart, and the Lord is mindful of you and he will come to bless you, that is where you experience the goodness of God.

Isaiah 30:18 “For the Lord is a God of Justice.”You are a person of integrity and honesty before God and men. But you miss increments your promotion, unexpected loss, or fail to get children admitted in good school. Our human nature says why me, not others. Do not be disheartened.  “Blessed are those who wait on the Lord. He will restore what you have lost in double measure. In the month of June you will enjoy the double portion of His goodness. God bless you.